Across the land, you will find rivers famed for their history, scenery or the challenge they pose. All of those mentioned here can give you a day to remember but be warned, some of them must be handled carefully once your waders go on.

If it’s the ‘spiritual home’ experience you’re after, then Hampshire’s Rivers Test and Itchen are to flyfishing what Lord’s is to cricket. Izaak Walton spent his latter years there and dry fly and nymph fishing came to prominence on those chalk streams.

You fish here not for the fish of lifetime but for a quintessentially English experience, amid idyllic rural surroundings and manicured banks.Fishing methods are regulated and day tickets often expensive but not always prohibitively so.

If you want to cover all the bases, historically, then try Derbyshire’s River Wye, too, for local anglers will insist that the region of Walton’s birth should be considered the cradle of flyfishing and it has its own rich angling tradition.

Set at the southern tip of the Pennines, this 15-mile river offers two personalities, in the limestone gorges of its upper stretches and the gentler meadows further downstream. Alkaline and rich in fly life, its brown trout share the water with a rare example of wild UK rainbows.

No bucket list can be complete without a visit to Scotland, of course, where the Rivers Dee and Tay give salmon anglers two hugely different river systems to enjoy at either end of the season; the Dee in spring and the Tay in spring or autumn.

Reckoned by some to be the country’s clearest and most scenic salmon river, the Dee is intimate compared to the more expansive Tay, which is the UK’s most consistent producer of fish in the 30lb class. Take care, however, its speed, depth and wooded banks can make for testing fishing.

In west Wales, another pair of contrasting rivers can be found, this time for the nocturnal angler seeking sea trout.

The Teifi is a classic of what American’ fishers call ‘freestone’ rivers, with a stiff flow and small pools producing a consistent number of fish to between four and six pounds.

Half an hour away, the River Towy chugs more gently to the sea and if not as challenging as the Teifi it is peerless for big fish, throwing up a 22-pounder in 2008.

If you prefer daytime fishing, Wales’ River Usk is regarded as one of Britain’s best rivers for wild brown trout but it calls for careful navigation of deep holes, slippery rocks and tricky currents.

You could, there again, choose to do something unthinkable 30 years ago and fish some of Britain’s former industrial rivers, once choked by pollution.

The rejuvenated Tyne, for example, is now regarded as England’s premier salmon river and the North Tyne offers varied water, from fast rocky pots (wade with extreme caution) to deep, slow sections. The River Tees also boasts grayling and brown trout aplenty, along with the occasional salmon but the wading can be difficult.

For further details on the rivers referred to, visit www.fishpal.com. Jeffrey Prest is Features Editor at Trout Fisherman, and blogs at http://tauntedbywaters.wordpress.com/

At least compared to these. I’ve chosen these as the most underrated counties to visit in England; and the least written-about. As a Midlander (originally) there’s maybe a bias in favour of those counties folk from the south and north speed through on the motorways. As a Londoner (adopted) I’m always dismayed how little otherwise well-travelled friends know of places just up the road.

1. SHROPSHIRE (OR ‘SALOP’)

Any county that shares its nickname with a French prostitute has be a bit unusual. You could argue that Salop gets a fair bit of attention as the birthplace of the industrial revolution. But how many tourists get beyond Ironbridge? – to a beautiful riverside county town (Shrewsbury), wonderful hills (The Wrekin, Bredins), and idiosyncratic towns (Ludlow, Much Wenlock). Literary interest: the sombre, puzzling very English A Shropshire Lad (A E Houseman).

2. NORTHAMPTONSHIRE

Some of the UK’s least prepossessing towns surrounded by some of its most beautiful villages. It’s a real crossroads of north and south – Watford Gap is here – as is Watford Locks, a stunningly beautiful stretch of the Grand Union Canal.

3. BUCKINGHAMSHIRE

Look beyond the stockbroker and footballer mansions to the Chiltern hills – the most beautiful rural area in the southern half of England until you get to Dartmoor. For a tree hugger, especially, if they love wrapping their arms around a rare black beech, the forest and woods at Ashridge and Wendover offer acres of delight. Get there before they put a train line through it.

4. ESSEX

There is another way to Essex – and another side to it. Find the sweet villages and big coastal skies as the county blends into much more celebrated Suffolk. “Sweet, uneventful countryside,” wrote John Betjeman. And what’s wrong with that?

5. LINCOLNSHIRE

Has Lincolnshire ever quite got over the stigma of being home to the most boring town in Britain? Grantham, birthplace of Margaret Thatcher, was given that accolade in 1982. But before Maggie, this was Tennyson’s county, and so inspired some of the finest lyric poetry ever written. The Wold gives the lie to those who think the county is relentlessly flat. Then there’s Skegness – a seaside resort no other country in the world could ever have produced. Even if they wanted to.

One lucky family will win a two night stay at one of our Family Favourite hotels; the BEST WESTERN Monkbar Hotel and a fun-filled day at the museum including a ride on the Road Train, the Miniature Railway and the Simulator and lunch in the Brief Encounter Restaurant.

Your child must be a BW Kids club member to enter, so if you are not just sign up for free on our kids club page. They will receive a fab free activity pack, quarterly magazines, stickers, birthday cards and lots more!

World’s Greatest Railway Museum

Discover over 200 years of history and a million wonderful railway objects. Explore our giant halls full of engines and railway legends including Mallard, the world’s fastest steam locomotive and our array of luxurious royal carriages.

Kids can let off steam in the outdoor play area, enjoy lively science shows, take a ride on the miniature railway or learn through the interactive exhibits. With daily demonstrations, tours and a special events programme, there’s plenty to keep the whole family entertained.

For more information visit nrm.org.uk

Terms and Conditions

1. The closing date is 31/05/2013.

2. One child in the family must be a member of BW Kids – Best Western kids club.

Best Western Hotels prize break

3. The prize consists of two nights’ accommodation, breakfast and dinner for two adults and up to three children sharing a family room at the BEST WESTERN Monkbar Hotel, York. Those hotels that do not offer table d’hote will offer a supplement towards their a la carte menu.

4. No cash alternative will be available and the prize is non transferable.

5. Prizes must be booked by 31/07/2013 and taken before 30/09/2013.

6. All bookings are subject to the availability of a family room at BEST WESTERN Monkbar Hotel, York [NB this may differ from room availability for bookings made direct with the hotel].

7. All additional spend (such as bar bills and newspapers) must be paid in full prior to departure.

8. Travel to and from the hotel is not included.

9. Any tax liability arising from the prize is the winner’s responsibility.

National Railway Museum: VIP Day Out

10. There is a single prize of one family ticket (minimum one adult and one child and maximum two adults and up to three children) for each of the following: one free official National Railway Museum guide book, lunch for each person in the Brief Encounter Restaurant (including one drink and one main course only), one ride per person on the Road Train, one ride per person on the Miniature Railway and one ride per person on the Simulator. Please check running times of the Road Train and Miniature Railway before your visit.

11. The winning entry will be the first correct entry drawn at random from all entries.

12. The prize is non-transferable and there is not a cash alternative.

13. The judges’ decision will be final.

14. Multiple entries by the same person will not be accepted.

15. This competition is not open to SMG (Science Museum Group) employees.

16. All parts of the prize are subject to availability.

17. No alternative prize will be given.

18. Any complaints about fairness can be taken up by contacting competitions@nrm.org.uk

Promoter: Best Western Hotels, Consort House, Amy Johnson Way, Clifton Moor, York YO30 4GP

I’ve been on both lists and either has its pitfalls. You’re Tier One. You’ve been sitting there all afternoon, drinking. As a natural consequence you’ve become very emotional and extremely careless. You’ve spilled trifle on your tie and Pimms on your crotch. You have perhaps lost a shoe. Then this new lot turns up. They are perfectly groomed, smell lovely, have nice hairdos and they are stone cold sober. Suddenly, you feel like Sir Les Patterson gatecrashing a Mormon convention.

It’s even worse on Tier Two. The chances are you thought you were getting dinner. You’re not. Everyone is talking about that hilarious moment in the church where the vicar sneezed over the mother of the bride. You weren’t there. All the free wine has gone and there’s a pay bar. And everyone looks as if they’ve just had a particularly jolly Roman orgy.

Couples – think! It’s great to get two lots of presents. It’s nice to see all your mates without forking out £500 a head. But you are kicking off married life with a symbol of division that may be remembered longer than the happy signs of your union. Choose the two-tier wedding and may all your crockery on your list turn out not to be dishwasher-safe.

Sleepless in the Saddle, Catton Park, Staffordshire

The aim is simple: in 24 hours you must complete as many laps of an eight-mile, off-road course as possible, negotiating all that the Midlands countryside can throw at you. One of the UK’s most popular events, most riders race in teams which allows for some essential shut-eye. Accessible to riders of all abilities and refreshingly friendly. http://www.pvsevents.com/riding/events/sleepless-in-the-saddle/

Bonkers rating: 3 out of 5.

World Mountain Bike Chariot Racing Championships, Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales

If mountain biking is not quite challenging enough, how about welding a ‘chariot’ to the back of your steed and racing it? Plan ahead to next January when legions of cyclists descend on Llanwrtyd Wells to compete in teams of three, with two riders and a charioteer. It’s nail-biting stuff. Roman costume optional. http://green-events.co.uk/

Bonkers rating: 3 out of 5.

The London to Brighton Bike Ride

Each June more than 27,000 hardy souls brave the chill of Clapham Common at 6am to join the annual 54-mile London to Brighton bike ride. The day attracts all sorts: 14- to 75-year-olds, lean professionals, puffing part-timers and MAMILS (that’s middle-aged men in Lycra to you). The event raises more than £4 million a year for the British Heart Foundation. Bhf.org.uk/l2b

Bonkers rating: 2 out of 5.

Coast-to-Coast, Whitehaven to Sunderland

This 147-mile route is a fabled rite of passage for cyclists from all over the globe. Every year around 15,000 riders traverse the top of England, taking in some of the most beautiful scenery in the country. The distance isn’t too daunting but the climbs turn your legs to jelly. http://www.c2c-guide.co.uk/

Bonkers rating: 1 out of 5.

World Naked Bike Ride

Ever had one of those days where you feel like cycling, want to save the planet and fancy getting your kit off? Then this event is for you. Thousands of riders in 50 cities across the world brave numb bums to protest against oil dependency and car culture. You can take part in British cities including London, Cardiff, Manchester, Sheffield and Edinburgh. Best make sure you have a comfy saddle mind… http://worldnakedbikeride.org/uk/

Bonkers rating: 5 out of 5.

The City gents held onto the tailcoat and bowler hat long after everyone else had switched over to lounge suits. They’ll be the last to abandon the lounge suit, but it will happen. Already for many urban types the smart suit and long tie only comes out for weddings and awards ceremonies.

So I don’t need to press the baggy knees and vague creases of my suit trousers in a kind of rubberised sandwich maker for 30 minutes. That’s because I’m in jeans or something like them. The trouser press stands to attention in the corner like some old retainer the family hasn’t the heart to get rid of.

I’ve an idea we should reinvent the trouser press. Perhaps we can organise a competition where the brightest designers in the country make them over. I can see trouser presses in Paul Smith stripes, ironic Burberry checks or Vivienne Westwood tartans. We could daub give them with a retro Union Jack: very Mini Cooper. We could clad them in pink feathers, yellow Perspex, 50s retro polka dots or jazzy tweeds.

The trouble is, designers like things to have a function too. That’s where I struggle with the trouser press. Can it be adapted to make sandwiches or pizza bases? Will it convert into a cocktail cabinet? Can the 50 Shades of Grey fans see some future for it as an aid to the modern adult relationship?

We desperately need your ideas now.

We are asking you to get behind the lens and snap a scene that sums up the Great British summer. We’re after an image that captures what summertime means to you, from sunny shores to rolling countryside, or an iconic image from our little island, we will leave the creativity up to you!

For your chance to win a fabulous 2 night stay at BEST WESTERN Kinloch Hotel on the beautiful Isle of Arran (stunning scenery with plenty of opportunites to get your camera out) simply email your entries to photocomp@bestwestern.co.uk or post to DND comp, Cedar Communications, 85 Strand, London, WC2R 0DW by 1st October 2013.

The competition will be judged by professional photographer Richard Cannon.

For full terms and conditions please see below.

Polaroids by English photographer Jon Nicholson capturing the nostalgia of the great British beach resort, from his new book, Seaside Polaroids.

1. This competition is open to UK residents aged 18+ except employees and their immediate families of Best Western, their agents or anyone professionally connected with this competition.

2. Closing date for receipt of all entries is midnight on 1st October 2013

3. Only one entry per per person. Multiple entries will result in disqualification.

4. To enter the competition, e-mail your photo to photocomp@bestwestern.co.uk or post to DND Comp, Cedar Communications, 85 Strand, London, WC2R 0DW. Entries will only be accepted by e-mail or here. Maximum size of file is 2MB. Entries which exceed this size will not be accepted. Unfortunately pictures that are posted cannot be returned.

5. No purchase or payment of any kind is necessary to enter or win this competition. A purchase will not increase your chances of winning.

6. No responsibility can be accepted for entries which are incomplete, delayed, corrupted, damaged, wrongly delivered or not received for whatsoever reason.

7. Any entrant who does not provide all required details on the entry form will be disqualified.

8. The prize must be accepted as offered. There are no cash or alternative prizes, in whole or part.

9. 7. The prize is a 2 night stay at BEST WESTERN Kinloch Hotel, Isle of Arran for 2 people in a twin/double room, and includes breakfast and car ferry tickets. The prize must be taken between 1st November 2013 and 20th March 2014.

10. All additional spend (such as bar bills and newspapers) must be paid in full prior to departure. Bookings are not valid over Half Term, Christmas, Valentine’s, Easter and bank holidays.

11. Travel to and from the hotel is not included, except for car ferry tickets.

12. Any tax liability arising from the prize is the winner’s responsibility.

13. The prize will be awarded to the entrant whose picture, in the opinion of the independent judge, Richard Cannon, sums up the great British summer.

14. The winners will be notified by e-mail within 28 days of closing date. If a winner cannot be contacted within a further 28 days, the promoter reserves the right to withdraw prize entitlement and will award the prize to a runner up chosen at the same time as the original.

15. Judges’ decision is final and binding. No correspondence will be entered into. Entry implies acceptance of these terms and conditions.

16. The winner may be required to take part in publicity resulting from this competition with no recompense.

17. When you submit any materials, including the picture, via the promotion, you thereby licence and grant the promoter, its affiliates and sub-licensees an ex-clusive, royalty free, perpetual, worldwide, irrevocable and sub-licensable right to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish and display such content for any purpose in any media, without compensation, restriction on use, attribution or liability. You agree not to assert any moral rights in relation to such use, where moral rights in respect of the content are yours to assert. You warrant that the picture is your original works and that it has not been copied, in whole or in part, from any other material and that you have the full authority to grant these rights to the promoter. Entries cannot be returned.

18. In the event of unforeseen circumstances, the promoter reserves the right to offer an alternative prize of equal or greater value.

19. The promoter reserves the right to cancel, amend, withdraw, terminate or temporarily suspend this promotion in the event of any unforeseen circum-stances or technical reason outside its reasonable control, with no liability to any entrants or third parties.

20. This promotion and these terms and conditions are governed by English law and the courts of England and Wales shall have exclusive jurisdiction over any dispute with a UK resident arising out of or in connection with this promotion.

21. The promoter is Best Western Hotels, Consort House, Amy Johnson Way, York, YO30 4GP.

I couldn’t believe it. I had never seen the like, and had never realised there was a whole strata of hotel-dwelling society where people were given tiny toiletries, free. To me it symbolised impossible luxury, decadence even, and an indication of how significantly my simple life might change if I became an entertainer. Free shampoo! The toiletries I took served, in some way, to harden my resolve to succeed.

Since that fateful day, I have spent about a third of my adult life in hotel rooms and I never check out without snaffling the toiletries. I now own more conditioner than I can use in my lifetime, especially as, at current rates of recession, I will be bald in eight years. Then, if I continue to accumulate hotel toiletries with the same dedication, I will be a hairless man, like a speaking lizard or a shaven ape, with the world’s largest collection of hair maintenance products.

My dedicated snaffling has become compulsive. I have a system. On arriving in a room I conceal all the toiletries, so that staff will be obliged to replenish them. I lived for two months at the Medina Grand Apartment Hotel in Melbourne, accruing more than 300 bathroom items and the staff never got wise. On long trips, such as the four months I toured Australia and New Zealand in 2005, I box up all my hotel toiletries every three weeks and mail them home to London via sea mail, the cheapest freight method.

Success is an abstract quality, difficult to gauge. How do we measure it? By our bank balances? By the amount of power we have over those weaker than us? By the amount of love that we spread around this wicked world? Or by vague, mutable notions of personal happiness? I have my own method, mine and mine alone. At 43, I have accumulated more soap, shampoo, body lotion, bath foam, conditioner, shower gel, shaving gel, mouthwash and mending kits than I will ever need. How many of us are lucky enough to boast even this?

Stewart Lee is officially the 41st Best Stand Up Ever. Find out more at www.stewartlee.co.uk

There was a time when garden visiting was associated with middle-aged ladies clad in tweed skirts and sturdy shoes, who stood quietly, admiring the borders and who rarely went further than the next village to see a good property. But today Britain is besieged by a growing new breed of garden “collector”, who will stop at nothing to get a photograph of the latest landscape on their “wanted” list; who’s happy to push you out of the way if you’re looking at something they want to photograph; and who will travel a considerable distance to tick the latest open garden off their “must-see” inventory.

In recent years garden visiting has become a bit like playing the stock market – with a selection of “blue-chip” gardens that everybody wants to see because of their connections with well-known gardeners or their seasonal highlights. These include Bodnant and Exbury, famous for the magnificent spring rhododendron displays; Hidcote Manor, with its highly-prized garden rooms; Sissinghurst, with its connection to Vita Sackville-West; and Levens Hall, renowned for its topiary. Great Dixter also ranks high on the popularity list because of its celebrated borders; Beth Chatto’s garden attracts plant hunters in thousands seeking inspiration for their own plots; and Piet Oudolf’s prairie planting has become a 21st century garden phenomenon – on offer for all to see at Pensthorpe, Scampston and Wisley.

Well-known designer gardens also rank high on collectors’ lists. Mention Gertrude Jekyll, Jeffery Jellicoe or William Robinson and visitors will travel far to see them, while open days at Arabella Lennox-Boyd’s garden at Gresgarth Hall are like rush hour at Victoria Station. But if you really want to see crowds, and boast about where you’ve been, head for Charles Jencks’ Garden of Cosmic Speculation in Scotland, which only opens for five hours a year. And of course Prince Charles opens Highgrove these days, but you can’t take a camera or mobile phone, so you won’t be able to record your visit in the family albums.

Rarely is garden visiting more competitive than in the charity sector. Every year an increasing number of public-spirited garden owners vie to get their gardens included in the infamous annual “Yellow Book”, which boasts growing numbers of private gardens that open for charity and which bring out the garden collectors in hordes. Operated by the National Gardens Scheme, we’ve all seen their yellow signs in the countryside, directing us to properties that we would never normally get the chance to visit. Worthy work indeed, when you consider that they raise several million pounds each year and it’s a valuable source of funding for the charities supported by the NGS. But for the serious plant lover, it’s becoming increasingly hard to see what’s actually in the borders when there are hundreds of other visitors, jostling for position to catch them on camera.

As owners realise the potential of their sylvan landscapes, increasing numbers of gardens are opening to tempt the growing breed of garden hunter determined to explore pastures green. But visitors beware if you’re off to see a property that opens infrequently. You could find yourself queuing for the car park, standing in a long line for tea and bewailing the fact that all your pictures are filled with rear views of other garden gurus. The garden may be beautiful, but if you’re one of 500 sightseers in a one-acre plot you may wonder why you bothered to come.

For more from the Galloping Gardener visit http://thegallopinggardener.blogspot.co.uk/

“Think about the first time you heard your parents made fun of by another adult.

Long pause.

“We never truly get over that, do we?”

He came as near to breaking down as his kind of Englishman ever could.

I was a bit taken aback at the time because, to be honest, if I’d even noticed my parents being teased I’d apparently gotten over the emotional trauma. But ever since I’ve thought about those landmarks in the child/parent relationship; there are lots and not only when, well, you are a child.

In the new issue of Do Not Disturb we have an article by a very good sports writer where he takes on his 14-year-old son at a variety of sports. We were thinking of The Fast Show and the Competitive Dad character. It’s funny. But there’s also something more serious beneath: the marking out of time. It’s the day your son beats you at tennis. You’re proud and devastated at the same time. He’s a step closer to being a fully-fledged person. You’re a step closer to – well.

The rite of passage for me was two or three years in paid employment when I picked up the bill for dinner with the folks. Look around the hotel dining room this Sunday and you’ll see the drama being played out. You can’t afford it. Yes I can. Come on – over here. Dad – I’d like to get it.

Then, one day, he lets you and there is another of life’s tipping points.